The Patch

Oh sure. Everyone has heard of "The Patch" but nobody really knows what it is. Or how it's used. Or....why.

Today, I am going to give you the basics on The Patch.

There are lots of different reasons (some valid, some silly) for the patch, but it really comes down to this: The main purpose of the patch is to reassure your actors AND your crew that you are not making porn.

The patch basically makes a Barbie Doll out of your actress. As in rendering her anatomically incorrect, if you know what I mean.

There are a few different methods of patching:

• If your film is only going to show topless nudity, the simplest way to patch is a flesh colored thong or g-string panty. This clearly covers up the entire genital area, allowing your actress full range of motion while giving the illusion of full nudity. Uhhhh....kinda. The straps or strings on the side will show. If you aren't planning on shooting below the waist, it's not a problem. Nude or flesh tone thongs are easy to find and come in a wide variety of shades to match most any skintone.

• Another option, is to modify a thong/g-string by cutting off the sides and using toupee tape to adhere the fabric to the skin. Once again, this allows your actress to move freely, knowing that her pubic hair and genitals are completely covered, yet when viewed from the side, she appears fully nude.

• The most difficult way to patch is for full frontal nudity. The goal is to have your actress appear nude from the side, back and front. This means that the patch can really only cover the genitals. While this may seem ideal from a filmmakers perspective, it can be a bit tricky for your actress and your wardrobe department!

I have two words for you: Adhesive Bandage (Yeah, I could have used that one well known brand, but they aren't giving me any money.)

Look for an Extra Large bandage - at least 2 inches by 4 inches. Also, look for an "island" design (sticky on all four edges, not just two). There are many different ones out there, fabric, plastic, latex (some people are allergic to latex), tan, clear, beige it really doesn't make a whole lot of difference for the most part. Waterproof seems to be a popular choice (though they still come unstuck at the merest drop of perspiration) The important thing isn't what it looks like, hopefully it won't be noticed at all.

Now, your basic 2" x 4" bandage is not going to completely cover your actresses genitals. But hopefully, it will allow her to be freer and more expressive while acting nude, because she knows you won't be showing those parts of her on film.

Coming Attractions:

• Step by step instructions on how to properly apply The Patch (Hey-just print them up and hand 'em to your actress. How easy is that?!)
• Patch etiquette.
• Scheduling.